she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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