if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You've changed since you got that strap on
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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