Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
