who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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