is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
