I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize