Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
