im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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