so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
