We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Houston, we have a blender
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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