as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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