Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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