I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
