what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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