we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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