I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
