Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
