6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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