you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
