well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
