I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
