playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
