So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
