I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
