It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
