hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
