Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
