Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
