The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
