Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
