we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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