just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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