I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize