were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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