I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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