Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
