So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize