he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
