Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
