He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
