She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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