Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
