i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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