Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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