so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
