She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
