Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
