All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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