guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Shame - the story of my life.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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