hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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