Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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