You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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