Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
