So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
