He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
