omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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