There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
