I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
