Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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