Just cropdusted the office
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The uberlube is also flammable
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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