Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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