Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize