I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
