i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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