There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
