I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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