Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
