Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
